All the Fun of the Fair

This session saw the party faffing about in Weissbruck listening to the GM do funny voices for what seemed like forever. When they finally reached the port by the bend in the river they postponed the opportunity to make loads of cash by either visiting the lawyers or fencing off some salvaged firearms, and made straight for the thrills of the Sheep Festival. Some people eh?

The GM’s portrayal of working class women from Weissbruck meets with respect.

Innkeeper’s Wife: Orlwroight Oi’ll just show yew to yer rooms - foller me please. This woiy!
Mal: You sound like Pam Ayres!

Chuck Morrison’s Bladed Weapons Critical Hits got an outing.

Player One: Ooh!
Player Two: Ha ha ha ha ha!
Player Three: Owch!!
Player Four: Urgh!
Player Five: (Deathly Silence).

Bloomin’ penny pinching party members, you’d think they were saving up for some suits of armour or something! Aren’t they about to inherit bucket loads of cash?

Gideon: I cast drop on the scribe so that he drops his quill.
GM: Urrm, OK. He drops it and bends down to pick it up again.
Alcar: While he’s distracted I steal his ink!

More tight-fistery follows!

Fortune Teller: Cross my palm with silver, and I will reveal the secrets of your future!
Alexa: Silver! What a rip off! Grumble grumble. (Haggle test).
Fortune Teller: Cross my palm, with brass…

Soon the GM gets the chance to wow the party with his grasp of foreign languages.

Doctor Malthusias: Return here in one hour to see more astounding zoological freaks, brought to you at great expense from all corners of the known world!
Alexa: Is that the best you’ve got? You better have more on display when we get back.
Heinrich: Yeah! We’ve seen odder than that on the road between Garndorf and Ravenstein.
Gideon: Not very impressive.
Three-Legged Goblin: Razzgh’nn!! Nhaghzz’n fach’h! Grat nak nak!!

Dwarfs eh? They’re all brilliant smiths aren’t they?

Alexa: Maybe if we let him go he’ll make us one of those rune weapons.
Incarcerated Dwarf: Yuhp! Yuhp! Pay silver pis! Lemmego mmhnnnthnn – tink tink tink! Wuun weppon!! Yay! Heheheheh!
Hans: What I think he means is that if we set him free he’ll ruin a weapon for us.

- Dave Allen